Peace to you!

Each week, the Monk Mindset newsletter comes with:

Thomas Merton, the Trappist monk who left behind a successful academic career to enter a Kentucky monastery, spent much of his life exploring what he called the "true self" and the "false self." 

The false self, he wrote, is "the man I want myself to be but who cannot exist." It's the version of us constructed from ego, fear, and the expectations of others—the self that chases achievement and approval because we believe these things will make us more real, more worthy of love. 

The false self wraps "experiences around myself and covers myself with pleasures and glory like bandages" to make something visible out of what is essentially empty.

The true self is who we are in God—the person we were created to be without illusions and false badges of identity. Merton described it simply: "Love is my true identity. Selflessness is my true self. Love is my name."

Here's where this becomes practical: most of us don't struggle with making choices. We struggle with making choices from the right place within us. When we decide from the false self, we choose based on what will impress others or soothe our anxiety. These choices might look successful, but they leave us hollow—because they're building a life for someone who doesn't actually exist.

Before asking "What should I choose?" try asking "Who is making this choice?"

Your false self evaluates options based on external criteria: Which path leads to more recognition? Which one will people understand? 

Your true self asks different questions: Which path leads toward love? Which choice, even if harder, would I be proud of on my deathbed?

The false self is terrified of limitation—it wants to keep every door open. 

The true self understands that real freedom comes through commitment, that saying "yes" to one thing means saying "no" to others, and that this is not loss but gain.

The next time you face a decision, pause and work through these questions:

Who is making this decision?

Am I choosing from my false self—concerned with image and approval? 

Or from my true self—the one that knows it is loved and has nothing to prove?

What is my false self afraid of here? Name it. Often just seeing the illusions clearly can loosen the grip they have on us.

If I had nothing to prove to anyone, what would I choose?

Which option requires me to become more fully myself? Not the easier path, but the one that calls forth who I'm meant to be.

Wishing you abundant peace this week,

John

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